


Not All Gone

by flower_tier



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, Underage Drinking, Why am I writing all this sad stuff tf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flower_tier/pseuds/flower_tier
Summary: Boyf Riends + Prompt 20.) “I’ll protect you no matter what… even if it kills me”~~~~~~Time has passed, but Jeremy still has voices in his head. He doesn't know how to deal with it.





	Not All Gone

**Author's Note:**

> For ostrich-on-a-rampage on Tumblr!! I hope you enjoy it!

It had been a whole year since the events with the squip went down. A lot had changed. 

Jeremy's confidence had actually grown after the whole ordeal since he had a lot more people willing to talk with him. He was finally a senior and that meant he wouldn't have to worry about high school much longer. He had (emphasis on _had_ ) his first relationship and even had his own car now. 

But, there were some things that... didn't change. 

Or rather something in the singular. 

_The voice._

Sure, it was subdued now, but the Squip still talked to him sometimes. It crept into his dreams. It spoke when he was caught off guard. Sometimes it'd even take control of a hand or something and those moments freaked Jeremy out the most. 

He doesn't like to admit it, but when his anxiety builds up too much from it he does sneak into the fridge to grab something- anything- with alcohol in it to drown his sorrows with. He knows Mountain Dew Red would be the safer alternative, but it's not like he could just walk into any store and buy that at a moment's notice. 

And tonight was one of those anxious nights. 

He had woken up that morning three times from Squip dreams, he had heard him whispering all through third period, and in his daydreaming, he noticed he had somehow managed to crumple a piece of paper and almost aimed it at the teacher's head. 

When he had gotten home from school, he immediately flung his backpack to his bed and his hands moved to grip at his head. The voice was still there, it was faint, but still going. It muttered plots of revenge and spewed bitter, deprecating thoughts. As soon as he could think semi-clearly, he marched on quick feet to the kitchen and opened the fridge, picking up the first thing he saw that could be of use: a case of beer. 

He was glad his dad was actually trying nowadays. That meant that he sometimes stayed late at work, which meant he couldn't catch Jeremy in the act. Today, he'd gotten a text saying his dad would be staying extra late to finish up a project. Jeremy was able to plop down right there on the couch and wallow. 

Just as he popped open the first bottle, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He ignored it and went straight to downing his beer. The taste was something he'd become accustomed to by this point and it barely phased him this time around. His phone rung again and he ignored it again, opting for another bottle. The noise in his head got quieter and was fizzling out. 

By the time night fell, there were twelve empty bottles sitting on the table. (He had gone back for another case). The voice was finally gone for the night, but his anxiety was still getting the better of him. There was a soft stream of tears making their way continuously down his cheeks as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. He was just about to consider moving to his room when he heard a knock at the door. 

_What the fuck?_ , He thought. 

Standing up, he roughly wiped at the tears with his arms and hands, trying to wipe them dry. Once he thought he'd done enough, he walked- stumbled- to the front door and opened it without checking the peephole first. 

"Hhhello?" His breath was a bit croaky, so he cleared his throat. "What... Whas goin' on?" 

"Jeremy...?" 

He finally registered who exactly was at the door. 

It was Michael. His best friend. The guy who definitely wasn't supposed to be seeing him like _this_. Jeremy could already see him processing his appearance. His face was probably red with tear-stained cheeks, he _definitely_ smelled like alcohol, and his hair was probably in all sorts of disarray, which was bringing a concerned look to the other's face. Jeremy couldn't help, but feel guilty in the moment. 

"Jeremy, what the hell?!" Michael's confused-concern melted into that of an angry-concern. "I call you twice! Text you a bazillion times! You completely miss our game night! And I drive all the way over to find you're drunk?!" 

Jeremy's guilt gnawed at his chest. He had forgotten all about their game night. "I'm- I'm sssorry, Michael... I-" He hiccuped. "I forgot all ab-about it. I-" 

_He probably hates you for that now._

Jeremy froze and he couldn't help the next set of tears that started flowing. He didn't know whether that was himself or the Squip, but it sure as hell _sounded_ like the Squip. He choked back a sob as he turned and ran from the door with no explanation. 

"Wh- Jeremy! Hold on!" 

Michael ran in after him, shutting the door behind himself. It didn't take long to find Jeremy running to the fridge to see if they had _anything_ else. Something to just kill these thoughts. 

"Come on, come on..." Jeremy muttered to himself. He was so lost in trying to find something he barely noticed Michael coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his torso, yanking him away. 

Jeremy yelped. "M-Michael! Pu' me down!" He thrashed around in Michael's grip, trying to pry his arms off. 

"No way, man! Not until I get an explanation!" Michael walked over to the couch and plopped down, still not letting go of Jeremy's middle. He took in the sight of the beer bottles and winced. "Fucking Christ, how much have you had, Jere?" 

"Who cares how much I've had?! Lemme go! I wan' it to stop!" He continued to wriggle, but to no avail. 

"I care!! And want what to stop?!" Michael yelled back. 

"The- The stupid-!!" Jeremy choked up on his tears and finally stopped moving, tears flowing even harder. "The stupid..." 

Michael's anger subsided a bit and his grip, originally meant to just keep him in place, softened to more of just a hug. "Dude, it's okay. You can tell me what it is." 

The brunette's whole body wracked with a sob before he could finally get out an answer. "The... the Squip..." 

Michael's whole body tensed and that just made him cry even harder. "I kn-know! Right! This stupid thing isss- is comin' back an'-" He hiccuped. "-an' I don't know what to do!" He paused and tried wiping his eyes once more. "What if... what if I hur' someone! What if- What if I hur' you! You gotta-gotta get away from me! I'm.. 'S not safe!" Jeremy started moving again and Michael lifted him just enough so he could turn him around. 

"Jere, look at me!" He started, trying to simultaneously hold him still and make him maintain eye contact. "Jere! Jeremy!" The other continued to thrash. Michael let out a frustrated huff before shouting, " _Jeremiah Heere, could you please look at me for one fucking second?!_ " 

That stopped him. His gaze slowly rose to meet Michael's and Michael's hands moved from his waist to either sides of his cheeks, keeping him in place. 

"Why didn't you tell me the Squip was coming back?" Michael's gaze had softened as he searched Jeremy's face for answers. 

The other sniffed. "I didn't- I didn't wan' you to worry. An' I... I don' wan' it to hurt you..." 

Michael sighed. "Jere... It's not gonna hurt me. It can't do anything anymore. _You_ are in control." 

Jeremy tried to shake his head. "N-No, it can still do things! It-It can move... it can move my han's an' feet sometimes an'-!" 

"I don't care, Jere!" Michael's eyes stared intensely now. "I don't care what it can do! You have ultimate say! You can stop it!" He searched Jeremy's eyes for some sign that he was being reassured, but found nothing, so he continued. "But even if you couldn't, I'd still want you to tell me because you know what?" He leaned his forehead against Jeremy's and Jeremy could feel his heart rate picking up. “ _I’ll protect you no matter what… even if it kills me_.” 

Both of them went silent after that; the only sound in the room being their breath. Michael's body seemed to relax and Jeremy's tears slowed. Michael's thumbs gently ran over Jeremy's cheeks and Jeremy moved his hands to rest on Michael's shoulders. 

And suddenly, their lips were meeting each other's half way. 

The kiss was slow. It wasn't passionate. It wasn't full of joy. Though, it was definitely something each of them needed. Michael's arms slipped down to wrap around Jeremy's middle again, hands rubbing small, comforting circles around his hips. Jeremy moved one hand up to bury in Michael's hair. The kiss definitely tasted like tears, but neither seemed to mind. 

They stayed like that awhile, pulling each other closer with their lips moving against each other's. It was far from a perfect standard, but it felt perfect to them. When they finally came apart, it felt like they could just stare and another moment of silence ensued. 

Until Jeremy broke it. 

_With laughter._

Not happy laughter. He was smiling, but tears were pouring yet again. Michael moved a hand back up to try and wipe some away. "Wh-Why are you-?" He tried to ask, but Jeremy cut him off. 

"Wha'd I ever do to deserve a someone like you?" 

Oh, great, now Michael's crying. 

But, through his tears, he also broke into a laugh. "Well, you shared your cookies with me in Kindergarten and that was pretty much all it took to form friendships back then." 

Jeremy started to laugh, and cry, even harder. Michael couldn't help, but join in. 

"This is a such a _mess_..." Jeremy finally got out as his laughter subsided. 

"Yeah, but it's our mess. So, what's not to love?" Michael replied, earning an eye roll from the other. 

They fell into another kiss, better than the last one. It was still salty as all hell, but they felt more content, more comfortable. When they pulled back again, Michael spoke. 

"Oh, but, uh- If you ever, _ever_ feel him coming back again... let me know? I'm gonna go to Spencer's tomorrow and tell them to order a whole buttload of Mountain Dew Red, all right? I can't... I don't want to see you like this again." 

All Jeremy could do was nod as he wrapped his arms around Michael's shoulder, pulling him into a tight hug. The other tightened his grip around his waist and they comfortably enjoyed each other's presences. Michael softly pressed kisses to the side of Jeremy's head and the brunette buried his face into the other's neck. It was a moment before Jeremy was able to murmur. 

"You're the bes'..." 

"I'm just doing what any good... friend-" 

"Boyfrien'." Jeremy interrupted. 

Michael smiled. "What any good _boyfriend_ would do." 

Another moment passed. 

"I love you, Mike..." 

"I love you, too, Jere." 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this and would like me to write more, I'm always open to requests and prompts on my tumblr at insanely-cool-jared-kleinman !!


End file.
